DanandDalaina.com

I’ve been watching the Winter Olympics a lot recently. They were interviewing an athlete after she won a gold medal. I was intrigued when in her tearful celebration she said something to the effect of “I’ve given up so much for this.” I had been thinking what wonderful things she has been able to experience. I realize she had worked incredibly hard, and not been able to experience and enjoy some of the “pleasures” of overindulgence in foods, night life, etc. She gave up sitting around, and sleeping in, she had long hours of practice, and endured many painful injuries. At the same time, she had the incredible benefits of being in amazing shape, and able to do things the rest of us only dream about. She travelled all over the world, saw sights and scenery that are so outrageous they can’t even be described. She met unbelievably talented people, and experienced “the thrill of victory.”

I’ve been thinking about all the things Danny and Dalaina have given up. They are living in a very difficult environment; they are away from family and friends. They are raising their kids in a risky place without grandparents nearby. What are they gaining? They are giving their kids an experience that money can’t buy. They are learning to see life from a perspective that most of us sadly will never begin to understand. They get to see people and places that are so beautiful they can’t even be described. They get to experience the reality that serving others is more fulfilling than serving ourselves. More than all of this they get to experience the joy of walking the path that God is calling them for. I’m not sure there is much better in life than the deep satisfaction that comes when we are confident that we doing just what God has planned for us, even though it may mean giving up “so much.”

I don’t know how the families of missionaries handled it in the past. When Dan and Dalaina were preparing to leave for Peru, several people asked me if I was OK with it. I usually replied with a heartfelt answer that we absolutely want them to be where God is calling them, and if that is in Peru then we are good with that. I then added that my tenderhearted wife Sonia would likely have a hard time letting the grandchildren go. I naively thought I would be strong enough to not be too affected. I was a new grandpa then, and had no idea how deeply I would hurt having them all go so far away for so long. They moved in April 2009, and we got to go visit them in August. Even though it was a relatively short time since we had seen them, we choose to go in August because our high school age daughter Amanda would have no good time to be away until the following spring. She plays basketball, so leaving over the Thanksgiving or Christmas breaks is not really an option. Now it looks like we won’t get to see them until this summer when they are here for a short furlough. Do you have any idea how much 1 and 2 year old boys change in a year? The twins won’t really know who we are. Thanks to Skype, Moses will remember us. When they are in Pucallpa we get to speak with them on video conference about once a week. A few weeks ago Sonia enjoyed reading Moses a bedtime story over the computer connection. Back here in California, basketball season just ended for Amanda. That means a lot more free time for us, and more time to feel the hurt of missing family. Since Dan, Dalaina and the kids are in Tsoroja right now we can’t even speak with them on the phone or Skype.

Several weeks ago our church had a series in James and we heard on many occasions about how God has a way of bringing joy in trials. A part of those messages included the odd phenomenon of our capacity to feel intense joy and pain at the same time. We are now living that first hand, with the intense pain of missing such key times in the lives of our grandkids, and yet having the incredible joy of seeing God’s hand at work in and through their lives. It is teaching us to continually turn back to an intimacy with God to meet our needs. It is odd how we tend to fill our time with good things that bring us joy, to the exclusion of having the greatest joy of that intimacy with Him. I guess that is why we can honestly be thankful in the midst of those trials since God sends them our way to bring about a good that we don’t normally take time to pursue.

Today our small group from church is doing a valentines project along with a group of kids from an economically challenged community. We are going to make valentines cards and take them to a retirement home for the seniors. I was asked to give a brief devotional about love. Rather than using the traditional message of Corinthians 13, I decided to speak from my own experience about the things and people I love. As I pondered this, I realized that when it comes to things I love, I often have to do without. They aren’t always available (like warm weather right now). Loving people is different. The pleasure I get there is more from what joy I can bring to them, and in a roundabout way that brings me happiness. The nice thing about that is that I don’t have to do without. I can always do things to love on someone.

Right now Dan, Dalaina and the kids are out in the jungle, so in some ways I am feeling like I have to do without them. It is true that I can’t just go over to their house, or even speak with them on the phone, but I can do things that will bring them joy, and in that convoluted way get enjoyment myself. I’m praying for them, and taking care of their business matters while they are not able to do that, and now I see those things in a different light. I think I’ll enjoy them more. Also, today as we make cards for the old folks, I think I’ll slip in a couple for my grandkids.

Lord, thank you for loving me so much that you are always doing things that bring me happiness. Please protect my family while they are out in Tsoroja, and give them good health. Bless them with good progress in learning the Caquinte language, and help them to build great friendships with the people there. Strengthen their marriage, and give them wisdom and grace in bringing up my grandkids. More than anything, please draw Danny and Dalaina into such a close and overtly fulfilling relationship with you that their kids, and the villagers will see their joy IN YOU, and want it for themselves!

Our time in town continues to be busy. Dan's surgery went well, and we are int he midst of dentist appointments, vaccinations, and a mountain of paperwork. We hope to head out  to Tsoroja in just a couple of weeks.
A couple of nights ago ended on a pretty sour note when our teammate left our house in tears after an argument that seemed to come out of nowhere. Wanting her to have a chance to talk over what had happened with her husband, Dan and I decided to wait until the next morning to talk. We went over to their house the next day, and her husband ended up taking the lead as mediator which worked well since he wasn't actually involved in the conflict. He opened the whole thing in prayer which impressed me as a wise and mature thing to do. Dan, our teammate, and I all had the opportunity to share what we felt had gone on. In the end, it seemed to be a big misunderstanding. She was operating from a very open relationship with me and felt she could just be blunt, but Dan took it as disrespectful to me and got protective. I was just mostly confused as to why each of them was so upset!
We were able to talk about it in depth, and I think came out understanding each other even better. I know I feel closer to my teammate as a result simply because she was able to express her love for me and appreciation of our relationship. After the whole thing was over, I am left thinking about how different conflict looks (or should look)in the life of a believer versus the life of someone who doesn't have Christ. Between the argument and its resolution all three of us were concerned for the others and could hardly stand not having it right between us. There was no defensiveness, just a genuine desire to understand what had happened. 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter, talks abotu love not seeking its own and keeping no record of wrongs. I realize that love that hasn't experienced the grace of God is really and incomplete love and is unable to really do those things. It's because we have each experienced God's love that holds no record of our sins and loves us without the expectation of return that we were able to offer that kind of love to one another.
In all, I think we chose the right team...